Here's an email we got recently:
Dear Ron and David,
My girlfriend just broke up with me. We were together for about a year and a half. But most of that time was spent long distance.
Even though I hate long-distance relationships, I told her that I would do whatever it takes to keep us together. And I did all I could to keep the relationship going.
I did all the little things that you mentioned in your book because I wanted her to fall in love with me and have romantic feelings for me, so we would stay together for a long time.
What I can't understand is this:
It seems like the better I treated her, the worse she treated me, until she finally just broke up with me.
She even said to me one day, "Why do you treat me so well? All I do is treat you like sh*t."
My question is, why is that?
So here's the answer:
When you are nice to a woman who is not nice to you, she loses respect for you and subsequently treats you worse in the next interaction.
If you accept that bad treatment, she treats you even worse the next time.
Taking a lot of sh*t is NOT the same as being loving.
We are not saying to be mean to women, but you have to treat yourself with respect. And you can start re-building that self-respect now.
A lot of guys are confused on this point, so let's repeat it: Being good to a woman and giving up your self-respect are not the same thing.
So many men are afraid that no woman will ever want them, that they give up their self-respect, and become unwilling to take care of their own feelings, or even to walk away from abuse.
Well, get this through your head: letting a woman walk all over you doesn't get you the girl. Not only is it painful, it doesn't work. So stop doing it!
So how can you start having more self-respect with women, starting today?
In any situation with a woman where you think your self-respect may be being compromised, ask yourself this:
"What would the man I'm committed to being do in this situation?"
You can also ask:
"What would I do in this situation if there was an abundance of sex in my life?"
Then take the risk of losing the girl, and acting with self-respect.
That can be hard, but it's worth it! As they say, "living well is the best revenge." When a woman sees you treating yourself with respect, she'll be more likely to respect you, too.
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